This week felt short, long, and a bit sideways – you know, one of those weeks where you get things done, but still feel like you’re behind? That kind.
I had three physio sessions this week – Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Each one just 20 minutes, but enough to stir up all the nerves, literally. My therapist and I still speak entirely in German (yep, no cheat words!), and I’m honestly proud that I’m somehow managing to express myself clearly enough. She understood me. I understood her. Little victories.
Monday, she introduced new sitting exercises – simple-looking movements, just shifting weight using my popo (yes, I’m calling it that), while keeping the rest of my body still. The idea is to strengthen my lower back without triggering too much discomfort. It sounds easy, but like everything in recovery, it wasn’t. The prickly, numbing sensations are still there – not full-on numb, but those little needle-like zaps that feel itchy or unsettling, especially during movement or stretching.
Wednesday, I got a full 20-minute massage – my back muscles were stiff and sore, and she focused entirely on loosening them up. Honestly, it was the highlight of my week. I joked about just staying there longer, and she smiled but gently reminded me that I wasn’t the only one needing attention (fair, fair).
On Friday, I came in feeling guilty for not doing my home exercises, so I said I wanted to do more active work during the session. But after a few attempts, those annoying prickly nerve sensations kicked in again. She paused and said, “Maybe next week, you do the exercises at home, and I’ll keep loosening things here with massage.” Sounds like a good plan to me – but of course, I know I have to keep up with the home routine if I want to get better.
Next week is also the last week of my current sick leave. I have a follow-up appointment with my doctor on Thursday to assess how I’m doing. Let’s see where it goes from there.
Energy-wise, this week was… meh. I kept myself moving mostly through cooking. I’ve been on a little experimental kick, trying random recipes I keep saving from my feed – spinach-cottage cheese bagels, avocado pudding, and siopao (a personal Filipino favourite – soft, fluffy buns with savoury fillings). Between the prep, the stretching, and the occasional pain flare-up, I ended most days tired. Some nights were tough – the kind where you’re lying flat, wincing, and just waiting for the meds to kick in.
My mornings? Stolen by Facebook scrolls, again. I always tell myself I’ll just take a peek, and suddenly the morning is gone. Then comes the guilt spiral: “Tomorrow will be different.” It rarely is.
At least Duolingo remains loyal. Last week, I proudly finished in the Top 3 – but this week? This group is brutal. The competition’s wild. Last week, the top scorer finished with around 8,000 XP. This week? The top spot already had over 16,000 XP. 😳 I’ve been pushing to stay in the Top 10 – even crossing 7,000 XP already – BUT Duolingo keeps sending me those dramatic “you’re at risk of demotion!” messages. Rude. There were moments I really considered giving up – just bowing out quietly. But then I remind myself I’m still on sick leave. I have time. And while it’s not exactly how I imagined using that time… it counts for something. Just a few more hours and this week will be done, I hope to stay in this highest league (fingers crossed)!
I’ve also been sticking to my little self-set daily goals – usually involving my B2 German learning. I had an in-person class on Monday and joined online on Wednesday, but by Thursday, my back wasn’t having it. I had to call in sick for class, too. It’s frustrating how fast time is passing and how much I still want to catch up on – but I try to remind myself that every little thing still counts.
And now, it’s Sunday morning – a long, special day ahead of us. We’re out of town for a family celebration (a very special birthday for someone we love deeply). I won’t go into details just yet – maybe someday I will – but for now, I’ll just say: these are the kinds of moments you pause everything for.
So, no big reflections this week. Just a little update from the in-between.
A reminder that even when it’s slow, even when it hurts, even when you skip your exercises and doomscroll through your morning… you can still show up.
💚
One of the best articles I’ve read on the topic—clear, concise, and very useful.